We had our first supervised rehearsal in 3 weeks yesterday and it was definitely needed considering we haven’t been able to show anyone our work in that time. We had created a couple more moments of performance and put them together in some form of order. This wasn’t reflective of our idea for performance narrative rather a way of linking these moments so we could perform something continuous.
I have included the rough text I wrote for a new performance moment:
I feel but do not touch
I am constantly searching, finding, welcoming though I cannot see
I reach out, sometimes not very far, sometimes endlessly
Everything repels me, as everything repels everything
But my function is to be the first point of contact
Everything repels me, even my other half
Everything repels me yet I can hold so close, so warm
I don’t know if that makes me feel sad
I don’t know if I feel anything
I feel everything, I make everything
I make pioneers, I make music, I make structures, I make structure
I make love, make peace, make war, make cakes
clothes, cars, keys, art
I make first impressions
I can do all these things yet I cannot touch
Nothing can touch
Sight is not an illusion, nor is sound, speech, taste
Touch is false
I feel but do not touch
None of us do
The feedback threw up the two questions I think we have been grappling with the most throughout this process. What do we want the show to say about hands? What is the relationship between the two performers? To answer the former I look back to a bit of research or information I discovered a few years ago that talks about touch as an illusion. I can feel my fingers against the keys of this keyboard but in actual fact I am not technically touching them. The way our atoms are charged means they repel each other. What we feel is not atoms touching other atoms but feel this repelling force, touch is false. I find it highly intriguing that hands, the first thing we think of when we think of touch, don’t touch anything.
Jordan is of a slightly different view and that came through in one of the transitions between moments. Maybe that will answer the latter question, maybe our relationship on stage is a conflicting one with both us wanting to explore something different about hands. This, however, is not an answer we will have for at least another couple of weeks I think as our concentration will be on creating more material and beginning to link similar things together with a view to performing something more succinct on Thursday week.
I think the general feeling after the rehearsal was that we were still trying to explore too many different things about hands. There was a section on applause, informed but not developed and it’s evident that there is not enough time in the show to fit that in. Tasks for next week include narrowing our exploration field, putting together a more complete version of the show and practice our material with desk lamps positioned on a table to see if it’s only our hands that are visible.
On to the next week.